Blog: The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I have a memory of witnessing my friend be the target of prejudice the day of his wedding.  My friend is gay and married his partner of 7 years at a wine vineyard. The wedding was outdoors with beautiful flowers hanging from mason jars on a tree, there was flowers leading the way to the alter I mean his wedding was elegant and beautifully decorated. As the wedding was going to begin I was wondering when the doors to the outdoor patio where the wedding was going to take place were going to be closed, but after talking to my friend he said they did not rent the whole vineyard so the outdoors was opened to all vineyard guests.  As we started walking down the aisle ( brides maids) I could see people making their way to the patio, and then it happened as my friend and his partner walked in with their families a group of people began laughing, and saying out loud “ How disgusting!” I remember just looking at this group of girls, because they have their cell phones out recording my friend’s wedding.  They were making all kinds of facial expressions pretending they were kissing each other, and saying I do out loud as they were bending over, keep in mind they were doing this at the exact same time my friend and his partner were saying their vows, and I do. I was so upset because my friend’s wedding coordinator who worked at the vineyards was also witnessing all of this, and would not go ask them to leave or go inside. It almost looked like she loved that they were doing all of that, because she too was making a disgusted face as they were saying their vows. When my friend and his partner said I do to each other all I remember someone yelling out loud “Fags!!” I was so upset that these people would ruin someone’s joy of committing themselves to each other. I was even more upset because the people who were in charge of his wedding from the vineyard did absolutely nothing. I was so upset that I walked over to that area and told those women “Shame on you all ruining someone’s most important day of their lives, if you don’t approve of their lifestyle all you had to do is walk inside, you weren’t invited to this wedding to begin with” Then I told them “And your phone recordings of the wedding did they give you permission to film them?” Those women were speechless and just looking at me like they couldn’t believe we heard everything. Then one said “ I’m erasing this from my phone right now I don’t have room for garbage on my phone”  I told her “ obviously you do cause from what I can see from here are pictures of you” and I walked away. I was so upset and hurt these people ruined something so meaningful to my friend and his partner, but more upset that no one with authority to kick them out did so. I could see how they were prejudice of same sex relationships and marriage. If only that group would have walked inside if they didn’t want to witness something they were against, and that would have been the appropriated thing to do for my friend and for themselves.